Todays Funny's

Flow · Post by **Flow** » 21 Oct 2006, 22:30

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEDw75rnphM

You need some sounds to be fun, nice car add.

Bilbo · Post by **Bilbo** » 22 Oct 2006, 00:08

Almost appropriate for this time of the year...

Ruben Miranda · Post by **Ruben Miranda** » 27 Oct 2006, 03:33

Hello Guys
This is bad, but I had to just share it...

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.

Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.

In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his
feet.

As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his (laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"

The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost."

Hitman

killahead · Post by **killahead** » 27 Oct 2006, 16:45

klaaz · Post by **klaaz** » 27 Oct 2006, 18:04

ghehehehe
true story?

Coffeemachine · Post by **Coffeemachine** » 29 Oct 2006, 14:02

this was rather amusing too

http://www.snyggast.se/?5814766

Ruben Miranda · Post by **Ruben Miranda** » 22 Dec 2006, 16:33

Hello
Life is all about BUTTS
you're either covering it,
laughing it off,
kicking it,
kissing it,
busting it,
trying to get a piece of it,
or behaving like one .....
That's right, you've been " elfed " . Pass this on to as many people as possible, but you can't send it back to the person who sent it to you. He who elfs last, elfs loudest!!!!

Ruben Miranda · Post by **Ruben Miranda** » 29 Dec 2006, 01:14

Hello All

Mathematics

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that, while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

Hitman

noob1234 · Post by **noob1234** » 29 Dec 2006, 01:48

While on the topic of mathematics, here is another one. This is a bit of a classic so some of you may have heard it.

It is a proof that women are evil.

Since women are the product of time and money, we have:

women = time x money (1)

Now, from the identity "Time is money":

time = money (2)

Substituting for time into (1) gives:

women = money^2 (3)

It is well known that money is the root of all evil:

money = sqrt(evil)

Squaring both sides:

money^2 = evil (4)

(3) and (4) give us:

women = evil

Coffeemachine · Post by **Coffeemachine** » 30 Dec 2006, 12:48

and some paradoxality (not really, but if you really REALLY want this to work it acrually does haha)

A number ^2 is aways +/- , for example x = +/- 2 is ekvivilant (<=>) with 2^2=4 , -2^2=4

When we want to solve a equation, for example x^2=y, it will lead to (imply, =>) that x=+/- √y. However, if you take the √ of a negative number the answer will be (what is this in english?:) imaginärt?) irrelevant, imaginary or whatever its called. the - solution will end up with : i anyway.

so the full solution to this would be

x^2=y, y≥0 <=> x=√y (or written like x=+/(-)√y if you use a bit simpler ways to express yourself with the () around the - implying that this solution will end up with i and therefore wont be used.)

So if we skip to the part where money=√evil it will be

:

money=√evil, evil>0 <=> money^2=evil, evil>0 <=> women=evil, evil>0 . and since evil>0 we also have women>0

this practicly says that yes women are evil, but they are a positive thing

:D
unfortounatly evil is positive too ...

but ask bush, im sure evil can give you lots of money so this may not be totally false!

ok my case was completely different from the beginning, i was looking for a misstake in the ekvations which didnt exist

.... but i found that out too late and didnt have the heart to erase all the fancy ekvations in the beginning

noob1234 · Post by **noob1234** » 30 Dec 2006, 20:21

HAHAHAA
OMFG you are disturbed too Kaffe!
I like it

Tuth be told, I had the same issues with that line.
But I think it is safe;
Even if evil < 0 money^2 = evil should hold. (Although money would be complex... which it probably is

)
But you are correct that if we take the square of both sides there are two possible solutions.
So the <=> might have to be => since
money = √evil => money^2 = evil
but,
money^2 = evil => money = +/-√evil
(Just like you said)

Btw:
imaginärt is imaginary in english

and I think <=> is spelled equivalent

I think the reason for the uncertainty in the line is the fear of introducing a second solution accidentally.
Take for example:
x = 1
The equation is already the solution (trivial case)
But if we square both sides:
x^2 = 1
=> x = +/-1
We have artificially introduced (x = -1) as a solution which didn't exist before.
Anyway, this was in the back of my head when I was skeptical.

Coffeemachine · Post by **Coffeemachine** » 31 Dec 2006, 00:13

ok now i need paper and a pen

indeed a intelligent reflection there.
The original ekvation, It is safe. Totally safe im afraid. but as you said it leaves out a solution.

Now im gonna bury myself into this for a few hours and see what i can find

, you are way too fast for me in GTR

Coffeemachine · Post by **Coffeemachine** » 31 Dec 2006, 00:55

yay, got it. the second solution then is

evil<0 => money=√evil <=> (money)i=evil <=> (money^2)i^2=evil^2 <=>/and since i^2=-1, we get/
-money^2=evil^2 <=> /money^2=girls/ -girls=evil^2 <=> girls=-evil^2 <=> / -evil must be good, and -evil^2 must be really good / <=> girls=good^2=really good!

and proven with equivalence all the way.

but i have forgotten this math so might be completely wrong here

so, in essense, this equation says that girls (women) is good or evil, but more to the good side. haha. ownage

Flow · Post by **Flow** » 31 Dec 2006, 01:02

you guys should of skiped some course at school, now its too late, you know too mutch

Coffeemachine · Post by **Coffeemachine** » 31 Dec 2006, 01:05

haha flow, knowlege is power

Coffeemachine · Post by **Coffeemachine** » 31 Dec 2006, 01:12

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdxkVQy7QLM

This is a must, the end especially is the best ever . haha
notice its the same chords all the way through

"i cant even go to tacobell anymor cuz it sounds to close" hah

Flow · Post by **Flow** » 31 Dec 2006, 01:22

Just get maried and you will learn more that is not visible in those equation, muahaahha

klaaz · Post by **klaaz** » 18 Jan 2007, 19:05

this is a big file, but the best comedy ive ever seen and this is only episode 1.
As i had uploaded it for kaffe i thought why not post it for all of you

http://relay.dynip.com/forums/index.php?a=topic&t=19

be sure to have no liquet food in ure mouth while watching, it sure will spill

SteveB · Post by **SteveB** » 18 Jan 2007, 23:51

wrong link Klaaz. hehehe

klaaz · Post by **klaaz** » 19 Jan 2007, 16:40

whahahahaaaa tooooo funny

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=5L8KWJBW

i cant believe i didnt see that , thx steveB

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